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The Harrisons
Missionary ambassadors-at-large to the hard of hearing
Welcome to the Master's Lip Reading Academy
Golden Rule for Hard of hearing
The Golden Rule
For Communicating with hard
of hearing people
By David M. Harrison © 2008
"Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them...Mathew 7:12
Hearing loss is a communication problem. It effects the hard of hearing person and impacts hearing people who are trying to get a message across. If we as hard of hearing people or hearing people are ever going to overcome the hurdles of understanding, we must learn to change the way we communicate. Change is threatening and difficult because we are in a rut in the way we do things. We develop a pattern of conversing that becomes a comfort zone for us. This is OK in a totally hearing world..but it is in our nature to want others to change but we are not willing to change ourselves. We expect others to change their habit of speaking so we can understand them. Yet, we have no clue as to how they need to change or what hearing people need to do to make them understand by us.
For years I struggled with hearing loss and misunderstood a lot what people were saying to me. I blamed them for my hearing problem saying, "Hearing people need to speak up more and be more patient with me." Then it dawned on me one day that I too needed change.
Change is always hard; in fact it is nearly impossible to change an old habit. Mentally we think that change is too difficult to try. The truth is that change is really easy, simple, and instant, once we understand why and how we need to change. Once you establish the purpose or reason for the change, it becomes easy.
Our goal is to get hearing people to change the way they communicate toward us.
Our challenge for a hearing friend.
Put yourself in the shoes of a hard of hearing person and walk in them for a day. Then you will understand somewhat of our needs.
We are taking the Golden Rule to a higher level by applying it to the area of communication with hard of hearing people. Communication can be a struggle, especially when the hard of hearing person is in our household, place, business, church, or social group. We are now challenged to develop and put into practice a betterway to communicate with the hard of hearing and to us.
We are not given an option to think about improving our communication someday. In reality we are forced to implement a plan of action immediately. Believe me, once an effort is made and a plan is put into practice, there will be peace and love.
The following are some simple steps that will help you communicate better.
1. CONTROL YOUR ANGER and frustration when others fail to get the message across to you. Don't blame others for your hearing problems and misunderstandings. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, "Does that person know how to communicate with me? Have I taken the time to teach others the best method of speaking to me? What would it take to get others to speak to me so I can understand at all?"
2. HAVE FAITH AND CONFIDENCE that YOU can communicate properly with hard of hearing people. You can go from the depth of despair to the height of delight.You can rise from the pains of suffering to the gain of success. It's time to turn your scars into stars. Trust the Lord to give you wisdom and insight to overcome the struggles of hearing loss.
3. STOP ACTING LIKE HEARING PEOPLE. Remember who you are, a hearing impaired person among hearing people. Accept the fact that you are hard of hearing and start acting accordingly.
Example:
- Stop calling to each other from differentparts of the house.
- Do not continue a conversation walking away from a hearing person.
- Do not interject your thoughts at random without getting attention first.
- Get the hard of hearing people to focus on you before you speak.
This concept may slow you down, but it is worth it.
Do not assume that all hard of hearing people will know when you are speaking without letting them know.
This practice will last a lifetime. Begin doing it right the first time.
A marriage would be much happier when the hearing spouse understands the best way to get the attention of the hearing impaired mate. The family household can be more peaceful, if you try to take the time to understand the hearing impaired.
4. PRACTICE THE GOLDEN RULE of communication with hearing people. Practice speaking the way you want hearing people to speak to you. Be the prime example on how to speak with and to you. They in turn will understand how to speak with you.
"Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets."
This command has been good usually called the Savior's golden rule, a name given to it on account of its great value. All that you expect or desire of others in similar circumstances do to them. Act not from selfishness or injustice, but put yourself in the place of the other, and ask what you would expect of him then. It is easily applied, its justice is seen by all men, and all must acknowledge its force and value.
The precise sense of the maxim is best referred to as common sense. It is not, of course, what--in our wayward, capricious, gasping moods--we should wish that men would do to us, that we are to hold ourselves bound to do to them; but only what--in exercise of an impartial judgment, and putting ourselves in their place--we consider it reasonable that they should do to us, that we are to do to them.
To The Hearing
This is grounded upon that great commandment; you shall love your neighbor (hard of hearing person) as yourself. We must bear the same affection to our neighbor (hard of hearing) that we would have borne to ourselves, so we must do the same good to others.
The meaning of this rule lies in three things :
- We must do that to the hard of hearing, that which we ourselves acknowledge to be fit nd reasonable.
- We must put hard of hearing people upon the same level with ourselves, and reckon we are as much obliged to them, as they are to us. We are as much bound to the duty of justice as they, and they as much entitled to the benefit of it as we are.
- We must, in our dealings with the hard of hearing, suppose ourselves in the same circumstances with those who have to do with, and deal accordingly. Laboring under such an infirmity and affliction, (with a hearing loss) how should I desire and expect to be treated?
Christ came to teach us, not only what we are to know and believe, but what we are to do; not only toward God, but toward men; not only toward those of our party and persuasion but toward men in general, all with whom we have to do. We must do that to our neighbor, which we ourselves acknowledge to be fit and reasonable.
Whatsoever...do ye even so to them. This does not imply that we are to always to do to others as they wish, but what we would like to have done to ourselves if we were placed in their condition and they in ours.
Luke 6:31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
For even sinners Jesus said, do the same: men who do not regard God at all. Therefore he may do this, who has not taken one step in Christianity.
To do as we would be done unto. It is a full rule, a clear rule, a most just and equitable rule, which the light of nature, and the law of Christ, binds upon us.
Hearing impairment needs not drive a wedge between couples or family members or friends. Striving together to find a proper solution can make any relationship stronger and happier.
The hearing impaired person as well as everyone associated with that person needs to be involved in a total program of rehabilitation.
A. Understandingthe range of hearing aids. (3' to 5' only)
B. Using assistive listening devices.
C. Practice speech reading.
D. Art of Listening.
E. Become more assertive.
F. Teach others how to communicate with the hearing impaired. (Face you, Don't shout.)
G. People who wear hearing aids still have trouble understanding words.
5. Treat all hearing people as if they were hard of hearing. Act as if you are helping them in a kind and compassionate way. It could become contagious and be a real blessing to everyone. Youare teaching hearing people how they are to respond to you by expressing your need.
5. Express gratitude for the slightest improvementand help from others.
"Thank you for getting my attention first and facing me when you speak, I appreciate that." Thank others for not shouting, or over exaggerating their words. Just speak in a normal tone of voice. Appreciate others when they repeat things back to you.
I am sure that all the hard of hearing people would appreciate this helpful communication.
It is so kind of you to be conscious of the hard of hearing people in your group, class, workplace and church.
I realize that it is hard for you to change a pattern of communication, but it would be wonderful when you take the time to include hard of hearing in your group, study or conversation.
This lesson is explained in detail at the MastersLip Reading Academy.
"I am just as deaf as I am blind. The problems of deafness are deeper."
Helen Keller
Click here for easy printable page.
DAVID HARRISON
P.O. Box 3021
Chattanooga, TN 37404
423-624-1669
dmharrison1@juno.com